Why Most Christians are Single - A Thread.

Now, take note, this is not a one shoe fits all transcript. These are merely some of my own opinions and I will let you in on my personal experiences where necessary. Without further ado lets hit it… 

P.s This is not a post to shame or mime anyone, it is merely for conversation and confrontations to patterns and conducts that perhaps need addressing.

Standards in high Places

Ladies your heels and your head should always be high, but the way sometimes we want to attract is unreasonable. I am saying this because sometimes potential is hidden in people that do not seem like it. Sometimes a king comes wrapped as a shepherd and a prince riding a donkey.

 I am not saying that you shouldn’t have standards, but can your standards match your discernment? Time has a way of revealing people, never discount anyone because for some people it takes the right environment and conversations and suddenly, the caged lion when taken to the wild becomes the ruler of it.

If God did it for them, He will do it for me

Mmmmmmh, which verse is this one? I would like to know as well. The way heaven works is that everyone has a unique blueprint and path.

 Story time: So this one time, a friend of mine suggested that a good place to position ourselves to be found was the malls. My friends and I established a strategic mall. This mall was not on our way, it was far from where we were. It took us 2 hours to prepare and another hour to get there, only to get stranded in the said mall. “ Kwani wako wapi hawa wasee?” I kept asking. 

The only wasee that were present was us and the busy people shopping while minding their business.

The amount of time we wasted just because someone had this hot testimony that they found a brother in a mall!

Surely, if I knew I was going to gather cold and dust I would have preferred to just have hot cocoa as I watched some cartoon, it would be worth the laughter. 

Moral of the story: God wants everyone to have a unique set up. Good for you if you met at a mall, wedding, Facebook and all, but pleas, wait for your turn because your husband could be in a banker somewhere while you insist on using the ATM.

  I am waiting on God

To do what exactly? He has already released the clay that belongs to you. Okay let’s call them earthen vessels.  God will not initiate conversation on your behalf so get talking. He will for sure give insight, nudges, go ahead, but like a wing man he expects you to do the work. This is for the brothers actually, unless you ask you will not receive. 

I am not dismissing that you can actually be waiting on God to refine, to guide you in  particular way but that shouldn’t stop you from availing yourself for the display of God’s work.

My friend asked me to add this:

  Look good every day, not just on Sunday, look good every day.

This is so true, Sunday best is real. No woman fails on Sunday. Makeup is set, hair sleek, all cleaned up and dolled up. The way the ladies be looking, Queen Esther is not even a threat. The same lady on another day could easily pass for an auntie boss. The same mchuzi that happens on Sunday please ladies, shall we maintain for the rest of the week?

Christian brothers, please pay bills

I am not talking about the married Christians brothers, I am specifically talking  to the single ones who subject us to the art of splitting. When the woman split something, it was at the Garden of Eden and you how the story ends up. 

Let splitting end at the red sea.  Can women be used to finance? absolutely, when there is a need, we arise to the occasion. We are able to but if it is okay brothers, on a date please don’t carry a calculator and that splitting APP.

 If you cannot afford it, how about something cheaper that is meaningful. Something thoughtful, even if you have to carry a dish with your home made meal, a woman who is interested and discerning will accept your efforts however small. 

This is not to champion for feminism or anything, there is something attractive about men who provide, protect and preserve the honor of women, if you doubt me, see how the world has embraced sponsors and all, it is not that these older men are impacting wisdom and knowledge, it has to do a lot with provision. 

How I see it, the day Adam was unbothered about Eve’s appetite, she found a sponsor in serpent who tricked her to the lie of humanities downfall. 

I beg to say, it is not even with the natural, even feeding a woman spiritually. Providing and nursing her spiritually, taking her cover it will seal a great deal.

The lord showed, told, saying to me

Please, if you are Christian and you know it, refrain from this line. I promise you the lord is not quirky and He is not playing patanisho. If the Lord showed you someone, pray about it.  If it persists GO AND SPEAK TO THE PERSON ABOUT IT. We are in 2020 FAM, How hard is it to tell someone?

Let me do a trial convo...

Bellz: Hey Idris

Idris: Hey Bellz, Wossap

Bellz: I have something to talk to you about and I was wondering if you have a minute to hear me out.  Disclaimer! It’s rather sensitive (Incase like your emotions have the weight of an egg and can break) so kindly be gentle with me.

Idris: uuuuh sawa, I will hear you out (A decent human being will hear you out)

Bellz: So now, it’s like this... I have been having dreams/ weird confirmations, like I am praying then I hear your name, or I could be randomly be thinking about you then I see an Idris  AD pop-up , and I do not know how to say this, but I am getting the vibe you are my soul mate.

Idris:  mmmmh Bellz I’m not sure why you are seeing these things but I am not seeing the same things, I am sorry I am not in that place and I am committed to someone else. Please seek further clarity but my heart is beheld elsewhere. Thank you for sharing this, but please note that I do not share in your dreams and confirmations.  (Option 1)

Option 2 – Yoh, that’s strange you should say that, shall we meet for coffee and discuss this? I would like to hear more on this. I am open-minded to hear more.

Option 3- Finally! I thought the Lord was making his servant wait! I am so glad to hear this,  harusi tunayo my dear. (HAHA)

My thought process is: If you fear telling the person, then how can love and fear be in the same space. Why would God give you a message that intends to breed conflict and strife? Think about ir.
  Anyways, whatever the outcome, you can handle it. Imagine it is never that serious, all I am saying is; step up your conversation game. 

“Then God said, let there be light and there was light. See? God communicates is to be heard.

Now, I do not mean to blabber out here and you are probably asking where is your man you show us, oh daughter of wisdom. As I said, I am a victim of my own folly; creating standards in my head that do not exist.  Here is my own personal one, 

Fear of boredom

 When I think about some of the blunt proposals I have received from the Christians brothers, I am tempted to suggest to them “how about to take a line from songs of Solomon.”  It is not that I want to be uplifted in carnality but take some notes from Solomon, that guy had 700 concubines; he wasn’t calling them Sister Beth was he?

Anyways, these are some of my own observations; do you have some of your own that you would love to share with me? Leave a comment below.