#SINGLE - Can we Talk ?

I think it was either beginning of this year or late last year when the questions started, at first, I thought it was just one of those cliché questions but they kept coming. 

The moment one sneaks it , it becomes a thread of questions - as if there is a private general meeting that meets to discuss how and when to ask .

Ai Bellz , lakini why are you single ?  I would dismiss it with a laughter and brush of that conversation like how swiftly we have swerved off the  NYS saga.

The question was and is always poised uniquely depending on who is asking and where they are asking. At weddings, it goes something like “You are next “, after the bride does that overrated thing of thrusting the bouquet of flowers to a bunch of single ladies , Lakini I find that so bothersome, the bride is always in her best manners until they play the Beyonce song and summon the single babes to catch if they can . 

Who came up with some things though ! Why throw ? why summon ? can we work with volunteers please ? anyone ? okay 

 I digress !

“Si,please ulete mtu “ , this is of course a famous one in the gathering of next of kin and blood related members.

Apparently completion happens when you are next to someone, they always insist. You got a job? Ah that’s nice, you have finished the degree? Wow congrats! 
Lakini ako wapi mtu ? , they never seem to forget the benediction social question.

The extreme ones always come from someone who has no chills, that one that you could almost hire someone for presentation, because the way they ask almost feels like a jab on the lower abdomen.

 I cannot even utter the atrocious manner in how they put it but they just seem to bluntly tarry your age and marital status.  

I can always predict the question, It starts off with what are you up to nowadays and before you answer, the question lands .

 Lol can I even say that they are meetings that have been tailor-made like a commission of enquiry just to empower ‘Single’ people to be found faster. It is often poised in a less targeting way like , Single’s dinner / single’s retreat, Tips of how to be found’ … I could go on and on .

 I am for empowerment , information and knowledge , but it doesn't have to segregated . It should not feel inferiority or lack to be in such a space.

Btw, to be clear, it’s not that I am bothered or anything! naah far from it , I am just curious why people have a detrimental notion towards single-hood. It’s in the comments, the nudges and the hints that are very humorous if not daunting.

I can replay my mom’s sarcasm when I was ranting about the sudden cold and weather and just asking for an extra duvet if any.  

Her answer was harmless but she toyed around with the intention to make a joke. “Pata Bwana sio  baridi baridi kila mwaka”, of course she made a giggle to make the point less harmful but I already get it , the point was home .

 I promise, I am still spirit led, I know you are waiting for the scriptures and I got you.

You will notice this is not my style of writing but the way this topic is set up, I had to come full blown with my persona.

What does the word saying about being single?  

#God’s Plan

 

  Jeremiah 29:11 

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

If you think about it, God is the master planner He has designed everything at its time and place. None of these plans does He consult with man or the world’s timeline.

Wherever you are at  ,Uko tu sawa !, no pressure . God has the plans, and they are for good.

 “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18).  

God knows the depth of our “alone” or the parts in our lives where we need to do life with someone. Maybe now is not the time, perhaps you ought to achieve something in the alone space

God is never restricted by timelines, He is purpose bound, so when he is making moves in heaven, he is doing purpose moves.

If the purpose requires that you partner up at 21 (hey Mary and Joseph), God is all in and he will equip you for that, if you have to solo and partner on the road to purpose like Boaz and Ruth , it’s still God and he is still in control ,it’s all about purpose .

When you know, you know  

⁵⁷ Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.”⁵⁸ So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”

“I will go,” she said.- Genesis 24:57

This was how Rebecca in the bible knew it was her season and she simply obeyed and went with what God had lined up for her.

This journey of singlehood is mainly about minding your business, being in your lane and being available for what God has in store.

Like Ruth, just being in the field gathering barley and just grinding, whoever finds you finds and flowing with God.

Before you make quick judgments, allow me to submit that I am for marriage and it’s a beautiful thing. I am just worried by the number of conversations I have to have explaining why I am not yet there.  

The firey darts of the societal expectations that tends to speculate reasons why I might be taking longer than usual.

We seem to judge too much and have this lack of empathy for where people are at in life . I am not speaking out of guile or any form of predetermined conclusion , I am simply stating that we ought to be gracious , loving and accommodating of God's plan for people .

Can we just be in a place where we appreciate people for where they are? Are you single? It’s cool Enjoy the space! Are you single with Child? Enjoy that baby and have fun. 

Are you dating this amazing guy / lady that has promised to see none but you, enjoy that space as well. Are you married and loving it? Enjoy it too. - We can all win , there is no score higher than the other .  

 If you have the time , You can listen to THIS by Pastor Todd Michael . It really helped me renew my heart and mind.

Philippians 4:11-13 New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 

All the Love , Bellz .